A few busy days and sleepless nights later, it's almost the end of the workweek. Training for my upcoming half-marathon went pretty well this week. As it works out, I end up running about 12 miles spread out over the workweek, then one long run on weekends. The training has productively occupied my lunch hours at work this summer, but now gives me one more reason to dread the coming week because the gym will be packed from here on out until my late-September race.
The freshmen arrive on campus this coming Monday. Lord preserve us all, and those who are trying to drive anywhere near campus for the coming month. I will have a long list of "things not to do as the parent of a new collegian" by the time the bug heads off to school. So far, this list (currently worded to include the people I will shortly see outside my window) includes:
1. Wearing a nametag that clearly identifies you as the parent of a freshman when off-campus in the town. Geek check, everyone. On campus, though, that nametag serves as your "clueless pass" so wear it with pride. Don't lose it as people will be far more polite to you and helpful in answering your inane questions if you're wearing it.
2. Wearing inappropriate clothing while following your child around campus as closely as possible. "Inappropriate clothing" includes (but is not limited to) tube tops and miniskirts for moms, t-shirts with holes and armpit stains for dads, and skinny-leg jeans on anyone over the age of 25. Please, people. Have mercy on the children.
3. Driving on the grass next to the dorm to avoid the move-in crush. Hello, facilities management just spent two months resodding, people, wait your turn! You are not a unique snowflake!
4. Freaking out on people in the registrar's office because your child didn't get his/her preferred class schedule. Look around you. There are roughly 5760 incoming freshmen this year, and just about everyone doesn't have their preferred schedule. This is largely because the preferred freshman schedule involves classes that meet between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. Monday through Thursday, giving them plenty of time to sleep in and get ready to go out at night, plus Fridays off. The academic world is not particularly forgiving of these preferences.
5. Spending too much time near your child, period. Hug them, help them unpack, meet their roommate, and then let them get acclimatized by themselves. Hell, plan a romantic dinner that night to celebrate your empty nest if you wish. But your kid is chomping at the bit to explore this new environment and meet up with friends, so leave them in peace. Trust me, they'll call soon, probably to request money or to ask how to fix something they've broken. This doesn't mean your child doesn't love you. In the next four years, they will go from thinking you're a moron to realizing how smart you are. Trust me, my parents were amazingly smart by the time I graduated from college. I have no idea how they learned so much so fast. :)
Feel free to add to the list through your comments--back to school tips for parents of kids at any age.
2 comments:
I never got this. My experience being sent off to college was simple. We packed the Mazda 323 with all the stuff I thought I needed the night before. We kissed and hugged and said our goodbyes in the driveway. I got in the car and drove 600 miles, hung the parking sticker in the window and parked in the dorm parking log, unpacked and started life away form home. There was no need for parents other than to provide the obligatory free meal that a parental visit got us, and quite frankly that a ticket best punched during the school year rather than at the beginning (when the bank account has some semblance of money in it).
By the time I was 18 I knew enough not to get myself in too much trouble, or more importantly how to get out of it after discovering myself in it. Yes there were those with me who did not, and they learned it very quickly (even those that went home every weekend). I didn't need my mother to tell me to take the side of the room I wanted and to put my shampoo and toothpaste in the cabinet next to the sink. I knew sock/underwear drawers were on top. And later I would discover where to hide the beer. And if I had a question, I had a phone and a calling card. Now most kids will have a computer and a Skype to call home over to ask mom what to do to improve the taste of the salsbery steaks we had for dinner (the answer was always more hot sauce).
So I would propose a simple NO PARENT ZONE within 500 yards of all campus dorms. Start setting up the perimeter today complete with razor wire and guard dogs trained to take down any one over the age of 30. I would even go so far as to scramble all cellular telephone service and GPS tracking devices for the time as well to keep moms from directing kids on where to stash the ho-hos by proxy. Its whats best for the children. The dorm is a great small self contained place you can start to learn to deal with your own problems. And its best for the mothers, as they can get their empty nest anxiety over with a complete home to clean, organize, and redecorate and hope that what ever they do will last beyond the weekend. And when you both get together for Thanksgiving, you will both be changed, more than likely all for the better.
I would heartily agree with the no parent zone, except that at ND you weren't allowed to have a car for the first semester of freshman year, so someone had to get me to campus... After that, no more parents to assist with moves. It's highly unnecessary. They can help the kids pick out a valance and comforter before they leave home if needed, but that's the end of it (and anyone who brings a valance to a dorm room obviously have overly-involved parents).
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