My Pumpkin, at the Patch.

Last week I accompanied my daughter's preschool class to the Pumpkin Ranch, a fall family fun center with much marketing and a number of apparently inoperable rides. On our way in, we passed the organic-goods indoor area and a JUMPY CASTLE. Fully inflated. Which the children were not allowed to play on because "that is only for weekends," according to our tour guide. Like preschoolers know what day of the week it is. So some tears were shed there while we waited for the group to assemble.

The natives were restless even before the herding started, but they scattered like dust in the wind when they were asked to "group up, now, it's time to walk into the tent over there." Eventually, all the parents rounded up the strays and the tour began.

After scarecrow making, a hay maze, and some information on beekeeping, the kids were allowed into a clearly marked fun area: the "petting zoo."

Goats, sheep, lambs, and an extremely patient and long-suffering llama were all featured in this particular petting zoo, and the kids had a wonderful time (molesting) (pulling on) (trying to ride) (shoving and chasing) petting the animals. In return, none of the animals ate the children. In retrospect, this might not have been the most satisfying outcome for either side.

After the petting zoo, a trip through a corn maze, and large applications of hand sanitizer, the preschoolers were given a brief lecture on various types of squash, pumpkins, and gourds that were available at the Pumpkin Ranch. They were also given small bags with coupons good for one-half the cost of any of the rides that weren't operational on weekdays, which most of them promptly lost so I couldn't be too offended by the direct-marketing technique. Then they were allowed to pick out one pumpkin from the "small" patch to take home, their choice. Here is the bug with hers:


The end of the trip nearing at last, the bug claimed her booty from the field in triumph. She and her classmates joyously recongregated, thoroughly pumpkinized, for more hand sanitizer and fruit snacks before heading to the car. This trek unfortunately took us past the jumpy castle, again, which now had small children bouncing in it but NOT HER, and NOT her friends. (Apparently the rides are for post-school-visit higher-paying customers. ) Needless to say tears were shed and fits were pitched by a number of the class on their way out. It's one thing to tell kids that it's not the weekend yet. But it's "NOT FAIR when someone else gets into the jumpy castle and it's the same day, Mom, it's the same day and we didn't get to go."

It was a beautiful fall day outside and the kids all napped for over an hour after lunch, so those are two reliable signs of a good field trip. I'm learning about this parent-on-a-field-trip gig early so I'll be the cool parent by middle school, maybe. Probably not.