The page they tore out of the "parenting" handbooks, under "Childhood illnesses."

Not that we actually received such a parenting manual, but every so often it absolutely stuns me that kids come without directions. Thank God we don't have to assemble them. There are clearly some unspoken rules that it would have been nice to know in advance, but then, if this page was actually in a real manual, perhaps parents would be more wary of parenthood-inducing activities. :)

1) The week your spouse is out of town is the week your child will be sick.
2) When your child is sick, you will be sick.
3) If your child is in daycare, your child will be sick pretty much from birth until roughly the age of reason. (This whole full-time daycare thing is new to the rule writers; we're still gathering the stats.)
4) Two is not the age of reason. It may be the attempted age of reasoning with your two-year-old, but be prepared for failure.
5) Just when your child is asleep and you are on the verge of a nap, your child will need something involving you, desperately.
6) Something about motherhood makes all cold medicines cease to have any efficacy. Even DayQuil, your standby for "must-work" days for many years. You will just have to deal with nasal drainage and suckage for the foreseeable future.
7) The only person who produces more mucus than you is your child.
8) Kleenex get used more than once. more than once. More than ONCE. Why don't you just put them right from the box into the trash, then?!?! Oh, never mind. Blow your nose.
9) You will want to sterilize your entire house. No container is large enough and the Lysol company is alrady worth millions. Give it up and have a nice cup of tea instead.

And finally....
10) When you just can't take it one more minute and feel like screaming and crying and taking a Hoover to your nasal passages, your little girl will walk in, curl up in your lap, wrap her arms around you and say, "You look beautiful, Mama. I love you."

And then #'s 1-9 just don't matter so much.